Gateway To Hell
by ColourMyWorld
Summary: "I stand in this parking lot, realizing that I've never been this far from home, and here is this girl I love and cannot follow. I hope this is the hero's errand, because not following her is the hardest thing I've ever done."
1. Chapter 1

**Gateway To Hell**

**sorry for reposting, but i got a better summary:p**

People spend their entire high school years imagining the end of it. Some crazy souls spend even longer imagining the end of high school. Some fantasize because they hate high school, the aspect of it, the hierarchy and exams and pressure, everything about it. Some fantasize because they just love thinking about the future. Some fantasize because they can't wait till college, their dream.

I'm a different story.

I've been imagining what graduating will be like since I've been a freshman, all the crazy shit I would do, the parties, the girls, you get the picture. I'd go somewhere far away with my friends, like New Zealand, and we'd go sky diving, bungee jumping and all the other things we've never had the guts to do before.

Except, here I am, 18 and graduated from high school, and have I done any of that stuff? No. Have I done anything in the slightest bit out of the ordinary? No. Have I done anything at all? No.

In a nutshell, all I've done since graduating high school is play video games with my friends. Seriously, that is all.

I have to admit, I am a loser.

Ever since I've been around, I don't know, seven years old, I've always told myself, _when you're older, you'll be cool._ But that was a lie. It still is a lie. Age really is just a number; you don't change over the years, at all. Trust me.

I've come up with a logical explanation as to why I'm seriously uncool and it seems that that's never going to change; my brother and my mother. My older brother Joe, he is cool. Everyone loves him, everyone knows who he is. Girls have never been a problem for him. He's in a band, which unsurprisingly, are pretty good. He goes partying every weekend. When he graduated high school, he got high for the first time. This sure as hell doesn't please my mother though. So, to make up for what Joe turned out to be, she decided to mould me into exactly what she wants as a son.

So here I am, 18 year old boy, never drank, never smoked, never done drugs, and never kissed a girl. But on the other hand, straight A's, early acceptance at Yale, on my way to becoming a lawyer, proud mother.

I guess you can't have it both ways.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to be getting high and drunk every weekend, I'd just like a little more excitement in my life. I'd just like to be someone else for a while. I'm sick of being Nick, it seriously sucks.

"Hey little bro." My brother interrupted my thoughts as he entered my room. "What's up?"

I shrugged. "Nothing." I said nonchalantly, avoiding eye contact. Joe's my brother, yes, but I've never felt particularly close to him. He tries, but honestly, he ends up insulting me in some way or the other every time he tries.

He raised his eyebrows. "You know Nick; it's kinda weird when you just sit in here for hours, doing nothing except staring at the walls."

"I'm thinking." I said defensively.

"That's weird." He shook his head exasperatedly. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No." I replied truthfully. I could go play video games with my friends, but frankly, that's the last thing I want to do.

"Well..." He stretched the word out, a gleam in his eyes. "I have a gig tonight."

"So?" I really don't like where this is going. "You have a 'gig' every weekend."

"Yeah, well we're playing at this club-"

"Like you do every weekend." I interjected rudely.

"-And you should come." He finished.

I stared at him, wondering if he was actually serious. "I don't think so."

"Oh come on Nick, it'll be fun." He pleaded.

"No." I refused, point blank.

"Why not?" He whined in that way only Joe can do without looking like a loser. "You need to have some fun, you've just finished high school and all you're doing is thinking?"

I said no, and I kept saying no, but somehow, tomorrow evening, I found myself in the midst of that party, awkwardly standing by the drinks table, but not actually drinking anything, since they're seemed to be no non-alcoholic drinks, and somebody needed to drive Joe home when he got wasted.

"I'd rather be anywhere but here." I grumbled to myself, irritated with myself, and how I'd managed to let Joe drag me into something I didn't want to do yet again.

"Is that so?" I heard a voice behind me. I whipped around and saw a girl standing there with an impish smile on her face. She was wearing a little black dress, with ripped opaque tights and laced-up black boots. She looked pretty hot, but what really got to me was her long brown curly hair, and big blue eyes. She was, hands down, the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

I guess there is such a thing as love at first sight.

"Hi." She said coyly. "My names Miley, Miley Ray."

For a moment I was dumbstruck. How often does a beautiful girl just come up and start talking to me? Maybe I should come to these parties more often. "I'm Nick." I spluttered.

"Nice to meet you Nick." She smiled. "So is this your first time here?"

"Er, yeah." I half-smiled, a little embarrassed at how easily she'd caught me out. "Is it that obvious?"

"Not entirely." She laughed, and god, the way she laughed, it was enough to make every man in this room weak in the knees. She'd throw her head back, and her whole face would light up. It was, to be honest, breathtaking. "I mean, I don't recognize you, for one."

"Are most of these people regulars?" I questioned, eyebrows raised. As sad as it is to never go out, it's equally sad to go to the same club every single weekend. In my opinion.

"Something like that." She nodded. "But you did look a little...fed up, and uncomfortable."

"Well, I'm not exactly here by choice." I told her. "My brother dragged me here."

"Oh." She said. "So how old are you?"

I hesitated. "Eighteen."

"Me too." She smiled. "So, you just finished high school, what kind of crazy shit have you done?"

Ah, the question I was dreading. "I'm uncomfortable being at a club, what kind of crazy shit do you think I've done, honestly?"

She laughed again. "Good point."

"What about you?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing yet, but I'm going away next week, it's kind of a road trip slash camping, a bit like backpacking I guess, but we have no interest in embracing culture or whatever it is backpackers do." She rambled on at full speed.

"That's cool. I always figured when I'd graduate I'd go away to like, New Zealand with my friends, or something." I shrugged, as if it wasn't really a big deal or anything.

It was. It is.

"Why New Zealand though? I mean, think of that plane ride!" She groaned, wrinkling her nose. "Why would you go somewhere by plane when there are perfectly good places around here within driving distance?"

"Ouch, what's your problem with plane rides?" I nudged her. I can't even remember the last time I'd had a conversation with someone, and it had just been so easy.

"I hate planes, it's just... unnatural. Flying is for birds, not humans." She ran her fingers through her long curls. "Seriously though, why New Zealand?"

"New Zealand's got it all; hiking, horse riding, sky diving, kayaking, bungee jumping, snowboarding, skiing, it's awesome." I spoke enthusiastically, because I've always dreamt of going to New Zealand.

One day.

Maybe.

"You should go then." She hesitated. "Come to think it, why don't you just go?"

"It's complicated." I said tersely.

"What's complicated?" She pressed.

"Because-" And before I had the chance to tell her, to open my heart to this beautiful girl that had appeared out of nowhere, my brother appeared.

"Hey bro, having fun yet?" He asked jovially.

"It's been okay, yeah." I glanced over at Miley. "This is Miley." I nodded towards her with a smile. A smile that I hope didn't completely give away that I was completely smitten.

He grinned. "We've met."

"Oh?" This can't be good.

"So this is your brother." She spoke out, and I wasn't entirely sure which one of us she was talking to.

There was a silence.

I guess you could say it was an awkward silence, but it wasn't. I felt awkward, yes, but somehow I doubt Joe and Miley even noticed. They were staring at each other, with little smirks on both of their faces.

"Have you finished performing?" She addressed Joe, clearly done with me.

"Only for five minutes." He paused. "So let's go dance until I have to go back on."

She positively beamed.

And with that they left.

So I finally meet a girl who I fall for at practically first sight, and of course she's taken, and obviously it had to be with my brother. My cool older brother.

There's just one thing I don't entirely understand. Joe has a girlfriend. Joe's had a girlfriend for the past two years.

It's not fair.

**Erlo readers. So here I am, with a new story, when I clearly have enough on my hands. I like this though, more than the others, so I think I might like be concentrating on this, which means frequent updates;) My laptop's fixed which will mean faster updates because I hated turning on the computer, because, quite frankly, I hate moving, and anything that requires even the smallest amount of effort. I suck I know aha. Anyway, I still haven't finished TPC, I realize that. I will post the last chapter once I write it, and I will write it once I stop having writer's block for that story. I've done like stats and stuff though and those numbers, omfg they're amazing. I lav them. Anyway, I would muchly appreciate if you guys would review.**

**OH. And guess what? This story is based loosely off my favourite movie. EVER. Loosely though. I hate it when people write FF's and basically use a movie's plot. I feel like kicking their teeth in. Anyway, by the end of this story, whoever has guessed which movie it's based off, I will do anything for them which is humanly possible through a computer. ANYTHING. That is a promise. Oh and if you read this entire tiresome boring AN put PEANUTS in yo review and I'll send you a preview of the next chapter of this story, tpc and htwybfb. What a deal. SO REVIEW PLZ. I'd really like at least 10 reviews to be continued. I'm not expecting many becuz this was quiet short and sucky but IT'S JUST THE FIRST CHAPTER. REVIEW PLZ PLZ PLZ IT MAKES MY DAY YOU GUYS ARE SUNSHINE THAT MAKE MY DAY. Okay I'm done. BUT SERIOUSLY REVIEW.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sure you're all thinking, "omg did she actually update twice in the time space of a week? Omgomgomg it must be a miracle!" It is, it really is. But I did say I have that fresh inspiration for this story, so the next 4-5 chapters should come fairly quickly :p**

Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.

I'm fully aware that I sound like a broken record, but I don't really know what else to do. Being honest, I'm the most unspontaneous person to ever exist; I literally plan out every aspect of my life, by the clock. Now, I don't know what I'm doing. Yes, I'm going to Yale, and I'm going to be a lawyer, but right now, in the most inconvenient of places, I've realized I don't want to be a lawyer. I'm not entirely sure if I even want to go to Yale. My mum has always told me what do, and it's just dawned on me that she doesn't have that right anymore, according to the law anyway. But knowing my mum, she'll carry on telling me what to do even when I have grandkids. That's just the kind of control freak she is.

I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do this summer, I don't even know what I'm doing here, sitting on a dirty bench outside the club where my brother is dancing with the girl I instantly fell for. It sounds pathetic, but I learnt tonight there is such a thing as love at first sight.

"Hi Nick, what are you doing out here?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by her voice, as she plopped down next to me on the disgustingly dirty bench.

"Oh just... nothing." I decided against telling her at the last minute. "Not really my scene, back in there."

"I could tell." She smiled fondly.

There was a silence. A silence in which her head was thrown back against the bench, staring up at the stars with a wonderstruck look on her face, and in which I was having a mental argument with myself on whether I should tell her about Joe's girlfriend situation or not.

I took a sharp intake of breath. "You know Joe has a girlfriend, right?" I said, realizing after the words came out of my mouth that it was a pretty asshole way to come out with it.

She was quiet, gaze still fixed up at the sky. "I know."

To this, I didn't know what to say.

She sighed wistfully, before meeting my gaze. "Tell me about her."

I sighed. How do I manage to get myself into these situations? I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to lie to her. "He loves her."

She scoffed. "Love." She shook her head in disbelief. "Love is a lie".

"You don't believe in love?" I asked her, truly taken aback.

She grimaced. "I hate love. I hate everything about it, the aspect of it, the purpose, the existence, I just despise love." She sighed loudly. "Love's not real Nick. We're humans, and we're selfish. The only people we truly care about with feelings as strong as those associated with love is ourselves. It's in our nature. If love was real, we would put other's first, somebody else's life would mean more to us than our own, but, it doesn't. You know why? Because we're humans, selfish humans, it's just who we are."

I hesitated. "So you don't love Joe?"

"I- I don't know." She wavered. "I care about him... I like him, a lot."

"If it's any consolation, his girlfriend's a bit of a bitch." I offered. "I mean, I like her, I've known her for a really long time and she's a great friend, but as a girlfriend, she's a bitch."

This did seem to cheer her up, which came to me as no surprise. I saw it in her, she loved him. "Why is he still with her?"

I thought about it. "There are some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what."

"That seems unfair." She rolled her eyes. "Why do you believe in love Nick?"

"You have to in this world, believe in things like love." I told her. "Sometimes you just need to have faith."

"Have faith in what?" She asked, looking genuinely curious.

"Life, people." I shrugged. "Yeah, maybe they'll let you down, but you got to have some faith."

She continued to just look at me, a smile present on her face. "That's a really beautiful outlook on life."

I frowned. "Don't mock me."

"I'm not mocking you, honestly!" She said quickly, with a laugh. "I really do mean it. You still believe. You'd be surprised to hear how few people still have that belief."

"Probably." I half-smiled. "My mum did a pretty damn good job of keeping me from, knowing things, living my life, things like that."

"I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to say, 'she means well', but I wouldn't mean it, and I don't like saying things I don't mean." She smiled, straight at me, and my heart literally did a cartwheel. It was inevitable from the start; I'd fallen for her, too deep. "I like to lay it out on the table as I see it. I want to be real." She looked at me again, and when I say looked at me, I mean in that way in which she looks both curious and amused, and she looks at me, deeply, and it feels like she's looking into my soul, and I swear I can feel my skeleton under my skin.

"You seem pretty real to me." I said, but then what did I really know? I'd known this girl for less than an hour.

I need help.

"I'm not." She grinned. "But I'd like to be one day." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'll tell you one thing regarding what you said about your mum though, I mean, in my opinion, she's pretty messed up. What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? And in my opinion, being smart and getting good grades, and getting into an ivy league college isn't remarkable, because so many people do that."

I looked at her funnily.

"Joe talks about you." She said after noticing my expression.

"Negatively?" I asked, though it wasn't really a question worth asking, as I already knew the answer.

She looked uncomfortable, squirming in her seat. "Sometimes." She said slowly.

I made a face. "You don't have to sugar-coat it, I know my brother."

Before she had the chance to respond, my dear brother stumbled out, drunk as hell.

"H-hey Miley-y." He slurred, tripping his way over to her, barely acknowledging me, as per usual.

"How much did you have to drink Joe?" I asked, with the urge to punch him.

He laughed hysterically. "A lot? I dunno." He shrugged me off, before grabbing Miley to her feet and kissing her. They proceeded to start making out right in front of my eyes.

Oh lord, you must be testing my tolerance.

"Joe," I said sharply. "We're going home."

"Party pooper." He glared at me, as I literally dragged him off Miley and all the way to his car.

"Bye Nick!" I heard Miley yell out, waving.

I waved back, a disgustingly love-sick smile appearing on my face, as if by magic, because it definitely didn't have my consent.

"Get in." I shoved him into the passenger seat.

"You're so fucking moody." He complained.

"Yeah, people tend to be when they have to take home their fucking wasted older brother because he's incapable of taking care of himself." I snapped.

"God, you're just like mum." He scoffed.

"Hardly." I shook the comment off, but swore to myself, there and then, I would not end up like my mum. I'd never let my kids feel like the way I feel.

"You'll become her, 'cause you do what she does." He shrugged. Even in his drunken state he was capable of acting superior to me.

"And what might that be?" I sneered unpleasantly.

"Bottling up your feelings, and acting nonchalant about everything. You're miserable." He stated.

"Yeah? Well, I guess you know so well. Your such a good brother Joe, always there for me." I shook my head in disbelief. He had no place to preach to me about bottling up feelings. Who was I supposed to pour my heart out to? Him? My mum? Get real.

"That's low." He said. "You don't tell me anything, it's not my fault."

"You don't care." I gritted my teeth, resisting the urge to smash something, and just scream, scream at Joe, scream into my pillow, scream about every fucked up thing in my life.

He stared at me, just stared at me, with an apathetic look in eyes that made it hard to look away. "You're right, I don't care."

And everything was right in the world again.

I sharply drove into the driveway, practically ripped my belt off, and slammed the car door behind me.

"Nick, you're finally my home!" My mum exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere with a flustered and anxious look on her face.

"Yeah." I nodded noncommittally.

"Are you intoxicated? Did you do drugs? Did your brother take proper care of you?" She fired question after question, grabbing me by both shoulders.

"I'm fine ma, I don't need Joe looking after me. I didn't drink and I didn't take any drugs." I replied, shrugging her hands off me.

"And your brother?" She asked.

"Drunk." She hated one word answers.

A disgusted look appeared on her face. "Be a darling and take him up to his room." She smiled fondly, ruffling my hair, before sauntering back into the house.

I guess that means I'm getting no assistance from her.

Surprise surprise.

****

**Hello bitchez :p thank you for all the lovely reviews for the first chapter. Are you surprised I updated so fast? I am aha. But it's my personal goal to update this story quickly at least till the 5****th**** chapter. So hopefully I will. I'll also try & update my other stories. Some time. Ugh. Sorry it's so short. They'll probably continue to be this short, because I'm not really back into the writing groove yet. I'm out of practise. Which is also my excuse for my shitty writing :p It's Eid on Wednesday yay! Just two more days of fasting, double yay. And I'm hopefully getting a typewriter for Eid, triple yay. Anyway plz review & I'll give you some virtual cookies. Plz plz plz review. 10 reviews for next chapter plz. Love you all muchos:-)**


End file.
